A little fun with Chopped.

We now have cable for the first time in 9 plus years. (There was a great offer and it’s cheaper than the Internet/Phone only service we previously had.) We’ve watched less than I would have thought. But John and I have fast become fans of the Food Network show Chopped.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what would happen if Chopped met my life.

Welcome contestants…in your baskets today you will find the following: 

Baskets? What baskets? In this challenge you must find your own ingredients. The first ingredient you think about will not fully be defrosted even though you took it out of the freezer the day before. The second ingredient you think of you will not have. The third idea you think of will be something you just had two nights ago.

Your judges will be three children. One will not eat meat because it’s an animal. One refuses all vegetables except baby carrots. These judges all like different things. Some think everything is better with ketchup. One hates ketchup. Nothing is allowed to look weird. All three reserve the right to insist that they hate a food that they ate (and loved) yesterday. And although one judge would be happy if you served her nothing but macaroni and cheese three times a day you actually care about this judge and cannot allow her to do that.

Your challenge…to cook dinner in 30 minutes. You have access to everything available in the kitchen. However, no one has been to the grocery store in a week so good luck finding what you want. It is guaranteed that you will not have at least one ingredient that you think you need.

During this time you will be faced with at least one of the following extra challenges:

*The smallest of the children will go to the bathroom and need help. If you do not go quickly, you will regret it.

*The oldest of the children will call from baseball practice saying that it is ending early and he needs a ride home. You must drop whatever you are doing, even if it is on the stove and go get him.

*At least one child will walk in and ask what you are making. When you tell him, he will say he hates whatever it is.

*At least two and perhaps all three of the children will become embroiled in a battle. You will try to ignore them to “let them work it out themselves” but finally you will hear screams and need to intervene. Points deducted if you end up yelling at them.

*The youngest child will come in and ask for a lollipop. You will tell her no, that it’s almost time for dinner. She will fall to the floor sobbing.

*You will get paged and realize you are on call. You will need to call back and calm the concerned parent of a fussy infant while juggling some tricky part of the dinner. This challenge will occur simultaneously with the battle or lollipop tantrum challenges above.

Your Prize:

Congratulations! The judges have accepted your offerings and you have been selected as the Chopped Family Champion. Your prize? You get to do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.

6 thoughts on “A little fun with Chopped.

  1. I found your blog via the WTM boards. I love this post! I’ve always told DH that those cooking shows ought to challenge their contestants by making them prepare their food while babywearing!

  2. Pingback: The Hidden Art of Homemaking: chapter 8–”Food” | Hope Is the Word

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